Ask Sarah: Overwhelmed & Overcommitted

Hi Lovely, 

I have a problem. I have massively overcommitted myself on all fronts and feel like I am drowning. My diet is terrible, I barely get outside anymore because it gets dark at like 4pm here in Boston and it’s COLD. Between my day job and my side hustle, I’m constantly working and nothing is fun anymore. 

You see, I have major depression and I’m feeling very depression-y lately. I’ve lost interest in everything that used to be fun, I want to sleep all of the time, but can’t actually sleep at all. 

I’m really good at showing up for other people, but not so good at showing up for me. 

This past week I had plans to go out with my friends for dinner, which I felt like I really needed and they both canceled for silly reasons. It felt like the last straw like it was too much and now I just want to not do anything at all anymore. 

Help me, please! What do I do now?? 

Sincerely, 

Struggling in Boston


Hi there Lovely!

I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I hate it when that happens. I am all too familiar with over-committing myself as well. I get a good idea and then run with it. Before I know it, I’m snowed under and everything that was fun now feels like work. It’s a lot. 

I also know what depression feels like. It’s important for you to put yourself first when you are feeling icky. Take some time for self-care, to rest and recharge. 

You don’t have to do everything all at once. It will still be there when you are feeling better. You are still an amazing person who is lovable and enough even if you have over-committed yourself and you need a break for a while. 

Treat yourself the same way that you would a beloved friend who came to you with the same problem. Spend some time in self-care and focus on what you need at the moment. 

I know as INFJs we focus all of our energy on everyone else. Please resist the urge to do that now. You are just as important as everyone else. You can’t give from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself will benefit others in the long run. 

You are still enough, even though it feels like you are letting people down. You are still lovable even though you are feeling unwell at the moment. 

Also remember: this too shall pass. Be gentle with yourself until it does. 

All my love,

It’s HAPPENING!!! I’m writing a book! I’ve wanted to do this forever and well, there’s no time like the present! I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea how long it takes, but, if you want to be the first to know when I have updates fill in your details and I’ll keep you in the loop!

Thank you for believing in me!!! 

xoxo Sarah