Your purpose, what you were put on this world to do. What a daunting concept! How do you even approach finding something like that? Many INFJs struggle with finding their purpose. It’s not easy to find such a thing, but I assure you it does exist.
What is a purpose though? People define it in different ways:
For most people it’s a reason to get out of bed in the morning, it’s that thing that drives you forward in your life. I define my purpose with meaning in my life, almost like a calling.
For me, my purpose is a combination of things. I’m not married and have no children, so family isn’t really a factor for me at this point in my life. I hope that it will be someday though. When I imagined my life when I was young, I never wanted to be anything other than a mom. But, as of yet, that hasn’t worked out for me.
So, what now? I can’t tell you how many times I have asked myself this question; high school, college, 5 cross country moves, 3 big job losses… just to name a few.
For the longest time I defined my purpose and even my personality with my job. I loved my job. It was so much more than just a job, though, because it consumed almost all of my life. I learned the hard way how dangerous that situation can be. When I left that job, I lost so much. Not only did I lose my purpose in life, but I lost my identity. I struggled for a few years to really figure out who I was outside of that life.
As an INFJ I tend to be consumed with the people and things around me. I take on other people’s emotions, especially when they are negative. I take on their feelings and their opinions. As I’ve grown up and matured a bit I have learned to consider opinions without accepting them. This has been a huge relief! I hope that as I continue to mature I will be able to do the same thing with emotions.
Over the last year my purpose has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I’m no longer just surviving, as I have done for so long, or defining myself through my work. I am thinking about my life on a much larger scale.
I’ve always had this idea in my head of what my life should look like. I have worked so hard to make it as much like that as possible. But there are some things that I can’t control, no matter how hard I try. I’ve finally started to consider what my life would be like if those things never happen for me. What will I leave behind when I’m gone?
Another thing that I’ve been thinking a lot about is death. My aunt passed away rather unexpectedly earlier this year. It got me thinking about how short life is and how we never really know how long we have. Of all the things that I have and want, what is really important?
So, in looking at the bigger picture of my life I realized that memories are much more important to me than things. People are more important to me than things as well. I would much rather spend a whole weeks pay on plane tickets and concert tickets than living room furniture. At this point in my life, that’s what makes me happy.
I also realized that my job is super important to me. It’s a huge part of who I am. It makes me feel good to accomplish things and feel important in some aspects. But the job that I have does not make me happy. It does not spark joy, as Marie Kondo would say. And if it doesn’t spark joy, it needs to go.
Now, giving up a job is a huge thing. I’m not adult enough to have things like a savings account or investments, so I’m stuck working until I can figure out something else. But admitting that this does not work for me and wanting to do something else is a huge first step. Now, I’m in the planning phase of something new, something that sparks so much joy every time I think about it! I can’t wait to share it with you!
I have discovered that the real purpose in my life, the place that I find the most meaning and satisfaction is helping people. I want to create a place where people can learn about themselves and feel accepted for who they are. I want people, especially INFJs, to know that they are not broken, they were made the way that they are for a reason. Just because they are different doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with them. And that it’s perfectly fine for them to be exactly who they are.
I hope that you find your purpose in life as well. And if you can’t find it right now, I hope that you will keep looking until you do.
If you have found your purpose, let me know what it is! I would love to hear about it!
Are you looking for your purpose in life?