9 Brutally Honest Confessions of an INFJ

I’ve often been accused of being brutally honest. My mom used to chastise me for being “so rude.” My honesty is never intended that way though. I think, as an INFJ, I see things in a different way than most people do. My honesty always comes from an authentic place. I want people to know the real me and to know the truth. 

1. You’re already annoying me 

Whatever it is that you are doing, it’s annoying. Little things get on my nerves, especially unnecessary sounds, people who talk too loudly, clicking a pen, singing in public, constant paper shuffling, that beeping outside of my apartment in the city. It drives me insane. I can’t stand noises. They wear on my nerves to the point where I will have to leave the room.

2. Anything you can do I can do better

I’m constantly seeking improvement in everything. As soon as I lay eyes on a situation, I know I could make it better. I stand in line at the supermarket thinking about what suggestions to give to the slow cashier to help him move a lot faster. I never say anything; I know better than to be rude. However, I’m sure my face gives away more than I would like.

I have suggestions for my boss at work as well. I know I could run the place so much better. I would monitor when people come and go, keep track of projects and assign projects to the right people. These are just some of the big things. There is a myriad of things that I could improve if given the opportunity.

3. I don’t do as much at work as I could

I care too much about my work, more so than my colleagues. It gets me in trouble sometimes. When I am working on a project, I want it to be done well. I will spend extra time making my work stand out, going to lengths that most people won’t even consider. It makes my coworkers mad because they have to step up their work and it makes my bosses upset because they realize that I am smarter than they are. I’ve learned I have to take a step back and just give an average amount of work, not what I am capable of. 

4. I know what’s going on

I can feel your energy. I know when things change, especially when it’s negative towards me. When you are in a bad mood or upset with me, I know. I don’t know how I know, but I know.

Same goes for predicting the future. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I am psychic, because that’s a lot, but there are times when I know what’s going to happen. I don’t know how I know, but I know. It’s eerie and it freaks me out sometimes. It’s also impossible to explain to people. Every time I have tried, they look at me like I’m crazy.

5. I don’t like half of my friends

I know. It’s terrible. I always seem to attract people who want something from me. Because of my caring personality, I tend to end up as a counselor. My friends will use me like their unpaid counselor leaving me feeling emotionally drained. I usually give and give and give until I have nothing left.

I have a tendency to hang on to unhealthy relationships. It’s hard for me to let go of some people, who I’ve been through a lot with or who I’ve known forever even though longer have anything in common with.

6. I’ve door slammed some of my own family

It’s hard for me to walk away from some relationships, but when I’m done, I’m done. There rarely is a second chance. One of my sisters has treated me horribly for years. She has problems that she’s refused my help with and has been such a negative influence in my life for so long I finally door slammed her. I refuse to talk to her anymore. She adds no value to my life whatsoever. It doesn’t matter to me that she is blood. She caused me so much pain that I finally said enough is enough and moved on with my life without her. 

7. I make friends with people for my own gain

I don’t like people in general. It takes a lot for me to put forth the effort to makes friends with someone, so when I do, I generally have a good reason. Some of my friends are really smart and I want to learn from them. Some of them work for places that I want to work for. Others have connections that I think could be beneficial for me in some way. I rarely do things without some kind of planning or idea for the future.

8. It has to be all or nothing

I don’t do moderation, I just can’t. When I eat, it’s 5,000 calories or nothing. When I buy things, I want something nice and expensive or I’ll go without. When I have a project, I’m all in or not interested at all. It’s dedication to the point of obsession. It scares people, even me at times.

I’ve tried different techniques to try and find middle ground, but nothing has worked. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just one of those fun quirks about me and I just have to accept it. There are ways to work with what I have and still be happy and healthy, so I’m ok with it.

9. I still don’t have furniture

I’m 33 years old, have graduated from college, have a nice job making enough money, but still haven’t bought living room furniture. I have a list of things that are important to me and decorating my living room is not close to the top. I decided about 3 years ago that I wanted to collect memories, not things. None of my friends understand when I buy front row concert tickets, but still don’t have a couch. It’s more important for me to experience new things and see new places than to spend my money on something I will just have to move one day.

I have lived most of my life hiding things from people. I’m the shy, polite person that usually doesn’t say much. I’ve crafted a nice faqade for work and any public function. But I’m tired of hiding the real me. I want people to know the real me and to know the truth. I think honesty is something that is so important and so valuable, especially when it comes to being honest with yourself. It’s not something that you find in a lot of people, so when you do find it, it should be celebrated.

6 thoughts

  1. As another INFJ, I understood everything you listed. It’s been pretty much my experiences too. Except for buying furniture.

    1. I absolutely agree with you Arlene. Everything she listed was spot on for me, just the furniture point threw me off.

  2. I’m virtually the same in every way, holding back at work, that led to problems of motivation. I have door slammed family in the past, but I eventually relent, to maintain family harmony. I also do have furniture, but it’s spartan, I prefer a clean, uncluttered environment.

  3. Excellent read! I look forward to reading your other blogs. It’s so great to know, I’m not alone in how I feel or do things…or don’t. Lol

  4. I’ve read through a few of your posts now and it’s kind of eerie because it’s like I’m reading these as if it came from my own mind.
    I’m living in parallel struggle.

  5. These are pretty spot on for me as well. Except the holding on to unhealthy relationships but that’s only because I have put forth effort to not do so.

    Also the work effort YES I quit a job before because of not being treated well by co-workers, and management was aware of this. However I was putting in my full potential at that time. When I quit I was begged not to leave because they literally could not afford to lose me. Needless to say I left.

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