Where It All Started

So today is day one for me: I bought my domain name today.

Ok, it’s not actually the first time I thought about this. It’s like the millionth. I have a plan… sort of. I have some blog posts and an instagram page. I started a facebook page as well.

But today, it’s like it’s real now. I’m starting to believe that this could actually be something. I don’t know what that something is yet, but it’s going to be something. Hopefully something special, something that touches people and helps them in some way.

This journey really started for me in 2012. I was in the engineering program at UNCC. In the Intro to Engineering I class they made us take a personality test, to see how we learn and how we communicate. I got INXJ on that test. I thought it was interesting, but I was busy with so much then. I shoved it in a box and moved on.

Fast forward a few years. I was out of school, working at what I thought was my ultimate dream job. I was doing what I had worked for and dreamed about for so long. It was perfect on the outside. But I was struggling so much on the inside. A friend of mine suggested that I go and see a counselor. She told me how much it had helped her. I was shocked she would say that to me. I didn’t need a counselor!!!  That was so offensive!

Then I thought about it for a while. And eventually I thought maybe she was right. So I got all of the courage I could muster and went to see the lady. A couple of months later I was diagnosed with major depression and a general anxiety disorder. It explained a lot for me, but I was still curious. I’m all about the questions. Why was I like this? What made me this way? What did it mean?

Somehow I found my way back to the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator test. I tested INTJ (that’s not a typo, it was INTJ at that point). I started reading and studying all about it. It made so much sense!!!

Fast forward again a couple of years… I was telling my 13 year old niece all about it. She was very interested as well. We were obsessed about it together. We talked about it a lot, especially in practical applications. I started to notice that I wasn’t as “all about logic” as I thought. There was a lot of logic, but there was a lot of feeling as well. I pushed it aside though. I didn’t want to be soft.

A couple more years later (I swear we are almost at the present), I joined a Facebook group for INTJ women. It was SO NICE to have people who were like me and understood me! I was so excited to share with them and learn from them. For a while, I felt like I really fit in somewhere.

But a while I noticed that I was still different from them. I had all the logic that they did, but I had a lot of feelings as well. So I dug into research again. I realized that I was not INTJ after all. My MBTI test was always close to 50/50 on the T/F, but after reading about INFJs I realized that personality fit be so much better than INTJ. Sometimes that’s how it works though. Sometimes it takes more than a 15 minute standardized test to really figure out where you fit.

I have gained so much from this understanding. It helps me in so many ways with understanding people and communicating. I hope that I can helps others as well. That’s the main goal here.

So that’s my story, 33 years in the making. But today still feels like day one. It’s exciting and fun to have a new project to work on and a new purpose to explore! I hope you’ll come with me and learn more about yourself too!

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