Crash

I was reading a story a few weeks ago about a guy who was on his bike and he got hit by a car. He said that the moments right after impact, with the car and the ground, felt like hours. That time got all messed up. He thought that he was only on the ground for a few seconds, but he was actually there for over 10 minutes.

I was thinking about this last night as I was running. Thankfully this group was a lot smaller than the one last Wednesday, but they were still a lot faster than me. They took off and I was left to my thoughts, a very dangerous thing sometimes!

So, I was thinking about crashing. Probably because I hadn’t eaten enough throughout the day. I was dizzy and felt weak. That’s not a good feeling when you are running and pushing harder than usual. I don’t recall ever falling while I have been running. Never, until last night. And, of course, it happened right in front of everyone. Ugh!

My little bitty fall was nothing compared to the bike crash I read about, but it still hurt, physically and emotionally. It was dark and I tripped on some uneven ground. I had that feeling of, “Oh crap. I’m gonna fall. Nothing I can do.” And then I felt myself slide on the gravel. I just sat there for what seemed like a long time. It really wasn’t. I probably would have stayed on the ground longer if everyone wasn’t freaking out. No blood, no problem. So, I got back up and kept digging.

It seems like I have a lot of these moments these days, not the crashing ones, but the ones where a minute feels like an hour and an hour feels like a minute. Running will make any amount of time seem horrendously long. Compu trainer classes will do that too. Power test? 15 minutes at threshold? 30 seconds at 150% of threshold? “You can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds!” That’s what I heard at 5:30am this morning. It was short, but horrible. It seems shorter now than it did before we did it. But that’s how most things in life are, right?

I was cleaning out my closet this past weekend. I own a skirt that I have had for 10 years. Maybe it seems worse to me because I haven’t wore it in 8 years. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since I wore it. But it hasn’t fit in 8 years either. I can’t throw it away though. Because there will be a day that I will wear it again… hopefully. Even though it is completely out of style and everyone will stare. It will/has taken a lot of hard work to get there. But when I put that thing on and it zips and I CAN BREATHE it won’t seem like that much at all.

I know this for a fact. I had a dream about going racing when I was in high school. I knew that if it was going to be a reality that I would have to move 1,000 miles from home. I would have to do A LOT of things that I had never done like business networking (words that I loathe). I’m not good at talking to people and making friends. I knew that it would take time. But, 15 years later, it doesn’t seem like it took that long. Because of this, I know that everything in front of me, all of those things that I am wishing for and hoping for and thinking are taking FOREVER, will get here soon enough. And once they are here I will enjoy them more because of the wait.

Just like the 30 seconds at 150% this morning. This too shall pass.

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass away.”

Earl Nightingale

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